It never stops; you never stop transforming. So be mindful of who you allow yourself to morph into. Self-acceptance and self-love are fundamentals of life but is it possible to maintain this love if we no longer seek to do better? Does practicing acceptance and self-love mean that we stop challenging ourselves to grow? Do we accept our shadows without facing them, or do we continue shining light on our darkness until we no longer fear the unknown?
When we were adolescents, we were taught what is favorable and what is unfavorable to emulate. So we hid our shadows, even from ourselves so that we won’t be found out. It’s how we cope with what destroys us to think about. We value consistency. We don’t want our flaws to show because some people aren’t equipped to understand what we bury and sometimes, we aren’t even equipped to understand ourselves. We do not know how we could allow ourselves to do some of the things that we hate so much.
We do not want our shadows to become who we are so we disconnect from them, even hiding them from ourselves at times. It’s a form of cognitive dissonance. We want to be well rounded and truly good individuals so when we have an unfavorable trait, we are capable of hiding it from ourselves because surely, we cannot be a good person if we have this trait.
By doing this, we are being rather unfair to ourselves and to others because perfection does not exist for humans, unless you are Jesus Christ, which you aren’t. We always put such an emphasis on who we are when no one is looking, which makes sense but, what are we thinking? How firmly do we reject our ill thoughts of others? How hard are we trying to do better? I think that is a bigger testament of our goodness. But even then, sometimes we lose our competency and our perceived ability to be better. That doesn’t mean it’s over, we can begin again.
We are all multidimensional, wanting to be understood.
So should we explore these shadows? Will the constant need to be better hurt our ability to love ourselves, or will we be able to fulfill our visions of a more fulfilling existence regardless? The essence of grace has no boundaries when you are trying to hard to evolve so allow it to be limitless within your trial and error. Extend grace to yourself. Never give up exploring your depths. No one ever reaches perfection, humans simply find peace. We find peace in the time we have to begin anew each day. We find peace in the pursuit of trying our best. Don’t think your shadows are too dark to lighten up. You are worthy of love, you are a valuable person in this world, and you can overcome.
These are my 2 a.m. thoughts. Feel free to share your thoughts, I would love to hear them. 🙂
Also, if you are carrying burdens that are hard to carry, don’t hesitate to speak with someone. You matter so much. ❤
Here are some depression helplines you can call:
U.S. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 (If you are having thoughts of suicide, call this number immediately.)
Kristin Brooks Hope Center Hopeline: 1-800-784-2433 (This hotline can help you cope with a range of depressive feelings.)
Veterans Crisis Line: 1-800-273-8255 (press 1) (Responders understand the unique experiences of veterans.)
United Way Helpline: 1-800-233-4357 (They can aid you in locating a therapist, healthcare or basic necessities such as housing and food by directing you to local services.)