I am not the simplest girl, I want a lot for myself and by a lot, I do not mean riches and glamour. I want to be happy, genuinely happy. I remember in my freshman year of college we were instructed to write an essay about our goals. I wrote an essay about my strong desire to be happy. My professor must’ve thought it was something because he began reading it jokingly to the whole class.
As he read, I felt a rush of embarrassment for being so honest and not completely fabricating ideal career goals; however, the embarrassment went away as I assured myself that there is nothing wrong with my goal. He ended up complementing me on how well written my essay was but that moment has stood out to me since. I know, everyone wants to be happy and my goal is not what most people want to hear when they ask that question. Maybe he was expecting for me to talk about career accomplishments but my ultimate goal was as simple as loving life.
It’s five years later and I now understand that my goal was not that simple. Happiness is not always consistent, it is filled with highs, lows, and a lot of setbacks. No one lives with perfect happiness that is void of any sadness. With each year, new challenges approach and somethings are hard if not impossible to completely forget.
Being truly happy is no little thing. It is a big thing comprised of different components, some outweigh others. That is what I’m aiming for. I have spent the past five years of my life sacrificing parts of my happiness; I’ve been in a constant struggle to keep moving in the midst of hardship. Even though it has not been easy, I am in a better place now. I am ready to begin doing more of what I love and becoming more of the person I always wanted to be, the person it was hard to see when things got hazy.
With loss, I have been reminded over and over again how fragile life really is. You never really know which day will be your last. In a blink of an eye it could all be over. If today was your last day, would you be satisfied with how you have been spending your days? If I’m honest, I haven’t been but let’s do better. We have new days so why not spend them right?
What makes you happy? Comment below!